Only this Time

Alas! What clarity,

The mind is settled,

Thoughts in control

I seem more determined.


But what brought tis.

It may seem cliché

To say, that something

I encountered very often,

That hurt me always


Only this time I did not

Cry or beg or lose my esteem.


Only this time I knew

It won’t work, and something

Within me wanted it not to work.


I need a lesson

I need be disappointed

I need know if I can carry on,

All by myself.


Enough, this time

I don’t convince myself

That its all right.

I let fall, only this time

I don’t bother.

I don’t play the blame game

Because only this time

I know it is and

Always has been, my fault.